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Credit card

From Randomramblings



A credit card is a small, rectangular plastic object with which you can buy things you don't really have the cash for. It can be helpful in case of emergency, or when you will have the money very soon but don't have it on hand at the moment; but more often than not, it becomes a tool of mass indebting and credit history destruction.

Helpful Uses of the Credit Card

  • Buying things when you forgot your wallet.
  • Buying things when you didn't have anything in your wallet anyway.
  • Earning miniscule amounts of rewards (the usage of which will end up very restricted).
  • Impressing babes.
  • Jimmying open locked doors.
  • Bookmarking your place in a novel.
  • Picking your teeth. (See also: impressing babes.)

Dangers of the Credit Card

  • Buying things when you didn't have anything in your wallet, and will continue to have nothing in said wallet.
  • Not paying off a whole balance at the end of the month, and subsequently being caught in the Interest Trap.
  • Firestorm Zero might steal it and buy things online, like Mr. Accessories.
  • Other people might steal it and buy other, less awesome stuff.
  • Ruining your carefully planned budget.
  • Constant arrival of junk mail to your real-life inbox.
  • Looking foolish when you try to pay at a place that does not accept your brand of card.

Relatives of the Credit Card

The Debit Card

Instead of making up pretend money for you to use while you wait for your paycheck to come in, a debit card will dig through your bank account for you and use up some of the real money in there. Then it will charge you anywhere from 25 cents to two dollars for this service, because if it's already poking around in your account, it might as well help itself while it's there.

The Poker Card

If it's not an ace and you haven't got four of them, then it doesn't really matter.

The Get Well Card

Generally very sappy, with poor-quality pastel-hued art of flowers and landscapes. Contents usually include nothing more than an unimaginative, pre-printed wish for rapid convalescence and a half-assedly scrawled signature of a person who barely knows you and can't be bothered to actually go to the hospital and/or your bedside and visit you.

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